Managing Emotions
Having had to identify and manage serious mood swings since I was a child, I’ve learned a great deal about feelings. Although it has been very difficult at times, knowledge and self-awareness of emotions have been a key source of help.
I was very emotional as a child. Things would be upsetting to me that didn’t typically bother others too much. I also had emotions last too long. I’d cry at the “drop off a hat” so to speak, and I also would be told to just get over things. Protected by my family, I fit in well and was accepted as just being a very sensitive child. In junior high school I started drinking and this managed my mood swings for a while. It wasn’t until college that I began to really struggle with mood swings. Alcohol largely encouraged feelings of depression, which took hold and were difficult to escape at times.
Having said all that, I’ve developed some useful ideas about emotions. First, I try not to ride out feelings to the end. In other words, when I’m in a good mood, I don’t try to get higher by drinking. When I’m depressed, I don’t listen to depressing music for hours. I have found that, usually, I have to climb all the way back out when I go down too far. Attempting to keep myself “in the middle,” makes it easier to avoid big mood swings that can even lead to delusional thoughts, where I believe I am invincible or completely helpless.
Luckily, I also have been fortunate enough to have my older brother, Bernie, who ran cross-country and track in high school. Because of him, I participated as well and this has been extremely helpful in controlling my moods and behavior over the years. I can’t jog anymore, but hiking still is helpful. All the energy I used to spend on toxic thoughts and depression are transformed into useful energy.
A serious problem with emotions is that thoughts are associated with them, and they continually occupy my mind. These emotions can be difficult to get rid of for me. By meditating only twenty minutes a day, I have been able to dissolve them and also figure out a spiritual propose for my life. Now I meditate longer, but always meditation has been a way for me to “get into my own head” directly and so reduce worries as a source of sadness. Now I can slow down and manage my thoughts and feelings better.
Another thing I’ve done for many years is to write creatively. This has always helped me redirect delusional thoughts into safer, more creative outlets for my thoughts and feelings. I still need medication but the act of writing creatively actually works with the medicine. Creative writing has also helped me put closure on painful experiences, so I can move on. I’m not sure exactly how it works - but it does. Creative writing has had a powerful effect on my life because it helps me identify and work through my moods and feelings. For some reason, by writing down my thoughts and feelings, I’ve always felt better and have a sense of completion of my thought processes.
So, are emotions good or bad? The short answer is that, for me, they can be a source of joy, but they can also create havoc in my life. This is especially true if I’m sick or in a challenging situation. By controlling, directing and redirecting emotions, I’ve been able to live a normal life. But it’s never been easy. Now I know no one’s life is easy. We all have problems. Nevertheless, for those of us with serious mood swings life can be difficult and even frightening at times.
But self-knowledge and awareness have been essential. By various practices and attitudes, I can stay healthy. I’d like to finish today by including a poem that describes both the problems with thinking too much and feelings of despair. However, the poem also describes how hope can come from prayer and writing. Have a great day and I’ll see you next time.
Oh Lord, Rescue Me Today
On this rocky road I travel
feeling lonely, but not yet lost,
I rise up and accept the challenge,
and for life’s purpose I must walk.
This nagging doubt that fills my heart
presses down and smothers me.
I know God’s power stills the darkness,
so I pray to be set free.
There is no one to really blame
while I pass through, yet, another night.
But these hardships still now remaining
are only fought to just survive.
How long must I face these endless trials
that put my soul through frequent tests?
I’ve walked this road for many miles,
and I yearn for joy and peaceful rest.
But, Lord, if your spirit overwhelms me
and in your presence faith unfolds,
all these obstacles I’m facing
with dissolve and free my soul.
Oh, rescue me, my Lord today,
so I may have a fearless mind.
I watch for you both night and day,
and pray in silence for your light.
(Please remember these are my own ideas, and I’m not attempting to persuade anyone to change theirs.)
Quotes:
“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” –
Joel Osteen
“Music became a healer for me. And I learned to listen with all my being. I found that it could wipe away all the emotions of fear and confusion relating to my family.” – Eric Clapton
“Man is lost and is wandering in a jungle where real values have no meaning. Real values can have meaning to man only when he steps on to the spiritual path, a path where negative emotions have no use.” – Sai Baba
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