“All You Need is Love”

It is probably foolish to attempt to write about love since it means different things to different people. In its own way, it can also be controversial because of different belief systems. Nevertheless, I’ve been thinking about the idea of love for a long time, so I thought I’d share some thoughts about it.

Perhaps a good way to get started is to define love as a form of desire. This desire takes many forms, but it is often associated with sex, and it can be very difficult to address on the spiritual path. This instinctive drive can be overwhelming and it is everywhere in our culture. Sex is sold as a commodity for excitement and self-assurance. Sex promises to make us happy. This especially applies to the way TV shows, and commercials attempt to influence our behavior.

However, love can also mean the desire for security. This desire has to do with the need to feel safe and it applies to having fulfilling relationships. A mother’s love is extraordinarily desired for children as they grow up as well. This definition can include the devotions of a spouse.

Another form of love when associated with desire is the need for possessions, power, and recognition. The pursuit of these desires is rooted in the belief these things will bring happiness. But often these desires fail to come to fruition which leads to frustration and disappointment. They also don’t bring satisfaction for long, so the desire for more then, usually, creates an endless cycle of need, satisfaction and then the wish for more.

So, having briefly summarized some common notions about love as a form of desire, the next level might be defined the desire to love God. With this desire for love, a higher purpose can be identified for an individual to follow. But this too comes with expectations so it still qualifies as a desire, albeit a noble one.

The “higher” form of love can be considered love without attachment or conditions. In other words, it means loving others, regardless of whether they like us dislike us, or appreciate our efforts and attitudes. This attitude of detachment means, loving without the desire to change things but rather accepting everything that happens to us. It is both for awareness and acceptance of life as it is. In this form of love, selfless service and beliefs exist without selfishness and the need for recognition. I used to believe that this detachment was actually a form of indifference because if one doesn’t care about what happens, he or she is not compassionate.

This brings me to the concept about love and life that I have only recently come to understand as a person living in society. This form of love involved a kind of “conquest” of which I had never heard. This doesn’t describe sexual conquest or the acquisition of power and fame. Instead this conquest is the victory of overcoming attachment to life as a whole. It is a form of victory for the spiritual seeker. It is “living in the world but not of the world” and triumphing over desire without the need to be without the things of the world. For example the conquest over power means transcending the need to be attached to it. It’s not that the desire doesn’t arise; it is simply addressed so it doesn’t overwhelm us. It means approaching everything that comes to us without the need to accept or reject it.

So love without desire is not indifference. It is being aware of life and accepting everything that comes without expectations. The highest form of this idea of love is accepting everything from God and His love whether it seems to be good or bad whether we like it or not (i.e. “suffering is grace”). To be honest, I really don’t fully understand this form of love very well, and I certainly don’t practice it. However, I do believe it is a valuable way to live in the world

The Beatles once wrote, “all you need is love” and I once thought that meant some happy philosophy about “free love.” However, I finally understand the phrase actually can mean giving and receiving love without conditions and expectations and allowing love to create and fulfill purpose in life.

I’m still working through my beliefs about love, and they have certainly evolved over time. Perhaps the whole notion of love partially depends on what stage of life one is in. What’s appropriate at one time might not be important later. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read some of my thought about love. See you next week!

(Please remember these are my own ideas, and I’m not attempting to persuade anyone to change theirs.)

Quotes:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that” Martin Luther King Jr.

“Love is the answer for everything. It’s the only reason to do anything.” Ray Bradbury

“The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.” Elie Wiesel

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