Publishing Blues
When I attended Western Illinois University, I won first prize in a short story contest and second place in a poetry competition. Since I loved writing, I secretly decided to become a writer as a career. I even created a fantasy about me publishing novels and becoming famous and wealthy. How naïve I was back then!
It turns out that it is very difficult to get published and making money, for me, has been nearly impossible. Even if my creative writing does get published for money, the magazine or journal might have to go through thousands of submissions and pay very little. So, I eventually came to the conclusion that I’d write without accepting royalties. Although publishing for free was far from being guaranteed, it did give me a better chance.
Consequently, over the years I’ve had many poems and stories published but rarely did I receive any royalties. My novels, poetry books and self-improvement books, I have been able to self-publish without paying for them. This was a big deal because usually to get a book self-published meant being charged a great deal of money for the publishing service and even more for the marketing. Fortunately, my older brother was able to publish my books for free and he even created a website for me. Nevertheless, despite all of our efforts, my work hasn’t sold very well at all.
When I was able to publish in magazines and journals, I also had another problem. I never really knew how many people actually read my stories and poems. For example, I have had several poems published by Salesian Missions, that distributes their pockets sized books worldwide, but I never could find out how many people actually read them. This lack of feedback was very disappointing.
I did eventually discover a website called Booksie that publishes creative writing. It not only lists how many people read my books but it also notes what country each reader resides. However, even with 21,000 views of my book, Portraits of Everyday Humor, on Booksie, the sales for the paperback version, The Comedy in Everyday Life, have been abysmal.
Because I am honestly pretty insecure, I constantly need recognition and validation for almost everything I do. When it comes to publishing, this mindset is really not helpful because most of the time, when my prose or poetry rejected, I don’t know if anybody reads my work at all. So although it’s obviously much better to be published than to be rejected, why editors don’t publish my work is difficult for me to accept.
Another problem with being insecure is that I don’t take criticism well. When someone or some publisher doesn’t like my work, it can be really tough for me to accept. I remember when I published my Sci-fi fantasy novel, Northland Chronicles: Mother Earth in Peril some critics loved it but one gave me a scathing review, and I was mortified and felt like giving up.
Another problem has been that writing is a deeply held need I have. So giving up on creative writing is not an option. Despite my frustration, I continue to write in order to feel good about myself despite my sensitivity to criticism.
But as I was writing this newsletter, I remembered that over forty years ago, I made an agreement with God that if he made me a writer, then I wouldn’t accept money for doing it. I also remember several times over the years praying that God would allow me to make money; but so far it hasn’t happened. To be honest, I don’t know if my writing isn’t good enough to earn royalties, or if God is still making me honor my pledge to him - hence I have my publishing blues.
I’d like to finish today with a poem I have written recently called “Perhaps There’s Nothing Left to Do” that actually inspired me to write this newsletter. I don’t usually write “sad” poems but in this case I felt it appropriate. Thanks again for subscribing to my newsletter and I’ll see you next week!
(Please remember these are my own ideas, and I’m not attempting to persuade anyone to change theirs.)
Perhaps There’s Nothing Left to Do
Finally, I’ve come to understand
that I have not been successful.
I’ve lost my way in life again,
and in the world, I’ve been forgotten.
My efforts have not been enough
and my thoughts and stories been ignored.
Without your grace it’s impossible
for me to progress and truly grow.
I don’t know if I’ve followed you
or been a disappointment.
Perhaps there’s nothing left to do
except for me to be more patient.
For years, I’ve written verse and stories
that no one really cares to read.
So I have no way of truly knowing
if in life I will succeed.
Now most of my time and energy
has been spent in my profession.
I’m afraid that I will always be
left out without acceptance.
Lord, I pray you either bless my work
with grace and recognition,
or take away this need to write
that’s been my life’s frustration.
Quotes:
“Nothing stinks like a pile of unpublished writing.” Sylvia Plath
“Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.” Don Marquis
“… if all people doing desktop publishing were doctors we would all be dead!” Massimo Vignettti
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