Hospitals: For Better or Worse

About a year and a half ago, I had significant health issues, but I decided not to write much about them. Then I was hospitalized again a few month s ago. Meanwhile, last week I was complaining to a friend that I didn’t have much to write about and he replied, “You could write about your hospital stays in your newsletter.” Because of my friend’s suggestion I’ve decided to write about my experiences. I’ll try to be objective as I can and forgo anything that is too self-indulgent.

Probably the easiest way to describe my hospital experiences is to divide them into what - in my opinion - were positive experiences. Then, of course, I’ll mention some things I didn’t like about my experiences.

So, what did I like about hospitals? First, every time I was there, I clearly needed to be there. Whether it was colon cancer, a collapsed lung or a hip replacement, I benefited greatly from the help I received in different hospitals. The staff at these hospitals were also clearly compassionate and experienced. Although the doctors held the keys to discharging me and spent very little time each day with me, the nurses did all the heavy lifting. They were so compassionate that they never left my room without asking me if I needed anything else. The nurses were also responsible for keeping track of all of my medications which was not an easy task.

The hospital staff was also very safety conscious. Not only did they wash their hands and wear gloves incessantly, they also made sure I stayed in bed, and always helped me to get out of bed no matter how busy they were. In addition, the nurses also frequently encouraged me and helped me out when I was confused.

So, what did I dislike about hospitals? First, I could never sleep; partly because the nurses kept waking me up to check my vitals. But it was also because I was hooked up to an IV that limited my movement in the bed itself. During my last hospital stay of two and half days, I probably slept for only two or three hours the entire time. This lack of sleep complicated everything else. For example when my hip surgery was canceled last year, and I was told I needed a pacemaker; I had to make the decision when I was exhausted. It turned out I really needed it, but having no sleep made the whole decision more difficult.

Another thing I disliked about hospitals was that I really couldn’t feed myself very well because my left arm was tethered to an IV, and I’m left-handed. Eating was embarrassing because sometimes I needed help. The food was pretty good, but eating my meals right handed was almost humorous because everything rolled off my spoon and ended up on the floor!

Another problem with hospitals was simply dealing with what was wrong with me. Sometimes the restrictions shrunk my world until I felt completely isolated from the outside world. Then there was the time when a patient in the next room kept yelling “I want to go home!” constantly for several days and nights. I felt both compassion and frustration with her at the same time. Finally I became habituated to the woman’s pleas, but it made sleeping very difficult.

In my self-help books, I describe some things about hospitals when I was mentally ill, but those episodes occurred many years ago. However I worked as a counselor in a nursing home in the mental health wing, so some of things still apply. Unlike “regular” hospitals everyone is encouraged to leave their rooms and talk to others. Because mental illness can be so difficult to diagnose and treat, sometimes the nurses could be impatient and lacking in compassion. But mostly they were very helpful and caring. The psychiatrists often seemed stressed and spent almost no time at with patients and relied heavily on staff notes in the charts to make many decisions. (Incidentally sometimes the hardest part of all was recovering after hospitalizations. My physical and mental strength eventually returned, but often it was a slow process.)

To be honest, I feel grateful for all the help I received when I was hospitalized, but at times it was physically and emotionally frightening. To learn more about coping with mental illness symptoms, please see my book, The End Justifies the Pain.

Finally, everyone’s hospital experiences are unique. Clearly the horror stories about some hospitals are also out there. I’d like to finish by mentioning three quotes I found when I did some research. Have a great day, stay healthy and I’ll see you next week.

(Please remember these are my own ideas, and I’m not attempting to persuade anyone to change theirs.)

Quotes: Hospital? What is it? A place for the doctor to play hide and seek with patients!” Anonymous

“A hospital is no place to be sick.” Samuel Goldwyn

“A doctor can bury his mistake, buy an architect can only advise his client to paint vines.” Frank Lloyd Wright

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